The Hangover: Twilight Style
by Sammi Writes
Summary: This is all Human. Edward, Jasper, Emmett and Jacob all go to Vegas to celebrate Edward's upcoming wedding to Bella. When they wake up the next morning, they can't remember anything and Edward's gone...based on The Hangover Rated M E/Jas/Em/J non-slash
1. Chapter 1

**The Hangover: Twilight Style**

**Author's Note: I loved the movie I love my boys so I am doing this just for fun.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight Cast or the concept of this story though I have changed a few things from the movie.**

**Prologue:**

Jasper, Emmett and Jacob all sat on the side of the road somewhere in the desert on the outskirts of Las Vegas trying to figure out what to do next. Jacob was leaned against the car sitting on the ground with a huge black eye while Emmett stood pacing back and forth in front of Jacob running his hands through his hair, stopping everyone one in the while to glance at the tattoo on his face and the ring on his hand. Jasper, however, walked away from the group to call the one person that needed to be called at this point in time…Bella.

"Hey Bella." Jasper said.

"Hey Jazz! Are you guys having fun?" she asked.

"Um yeah" he lied.

"Well where's Edward? I've tried calling him multiple times but his phone must be turned off or dead." Bella said.

"Um…yeah. About that?" Jasper said running a hand through his blonde hair "We kind of um lost Edward…"

"What do you mean you lost him?" she asked starting to panic

"I mean, we can't find him." Jasper said again.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Hangover: Twilight Edition**

**Author's Note: I'm bored so I decided to do this just for fun. A lot of people have seen "The Hangover" and personally I thought it was hilarious…so let's just do this Twilight Style and all human just for fun. The concept from the movie will be the same only the bachelor party friends will be different, and I've changed a few details. Enjoy!**

**Plot: Edward's marrying Bella in three days so Jasper, Emmett and Jacob, Bella's best friend, all pull together to take Edward to Vegas for one last weekend of fun before he ties the not. They get to Vegas and end up having a wild evening…the only problem? They don't remember a thing and they can't find Edward. Weird things happen to Jasper, Emmett and Jacob on their search for Edward and finding out JUST what happened the night before.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Characters nor do I own the general concept of this story….this is just for fun.**

**Chapter 1: Heading to Vegas**

Edward stood in the living room of the apartment he shared with his fiancee Bella waiting for her best friend, Jacob, to arrive so that they could go pick up Emmett and Edward for their drive to Vegas for the weekend before he was supposed to get married. He wasn't exactly excited about Jacob tagging along but to please his fiancee, he invited him along knowing that Jacob was going to be in their lives regardless of how he felt about him. He would never make his beloved choose between him and her best friend that she had known since childhood, after all Jacob was like the brother that she had never had. The reason that Edward didn't care for Jacob was because he was a bit of a "fuck up" as Emmett would call it. This coming from a man who was in love with a total bitch who cheated on him last summer when she went on a trip to Italy with friends with the bellhop at their hotel, I really couldn't trust his judgment in people.

When Jacob FINALLY arrived we headed out to the high school where they picked Jasper up, he was a teacher there. Jasper ran out to the car excitedly and threw his bag in the trunk of Edward's Mercedes convertible and jumped into the back seat.

"Vegas, baby!" he yelled as they drove off "Sin City…what happens there stays there."

"There won't be anything happening there that NEEDS to stay there, Jazz." Edward said and he laughed.

"Loosen up, man. This is supposed to be FUN!" he said and Edward relaxed a bit. They drove a bit further toward their friend Emmett's house that he shared with his girlfriend, Rosalie. Upon pulling out front Edward honked the horn to alert Emmett that they were outside. They heard the sound of Rosalie bitching for Emmett to call every hour and to answer his phone and the guys all groaned to themselves, thankful that they didn't have to deal with that type of think with their girls. When Emmett finally grew tired of the tongue lashing that Rosalie was giving him, he all but ran out to the car, throwing his things in the trunk.

The boys drove a couple of hours to Seattle and boarded a plane to Las Vegas. Once the plane touched down they all deplaned and headed to the rental car place to rent a car for the weekend and headed to the hotel. Once at the front desk they checked in with the receptionist to see if their room was ready.

"Yes, checking in under the name Whitlock." Jasper said.

"Yes, two double rooms on the top floor. Would you like to update to a suite?" the lady behind the desk asked.

"Come on, Em. Give them your credit card." Jasper said nudging Emmett.

"No, dude, Rosie would KILL me if I charged a suite in VEGAS on my credit card knowing that I was supposed to be in Napa Valley." Emmett replied.

"Come on dude, live a little. Don't let her keep your balls in her purse ALL the time." Jasper said with a laugh.

"Where's your card?" Emmett asked.

"I took all the money out, all I have it cash." Jasper said.

"I'll go halves with you, Em." Edward piped up and Emmett raised a hand.

"No, dude. I got this, it's your weekend." he said handing the receptionist his credit card to swipe. The boys got their suite key and headed up to the suite which was HUGE. It had four separate sleeping areas, a huge living room area, a bar and a kitchen area. It was very nice. The boys were immediately in awe as they went to their separate rooms to get ready for their first night in Vegas, knowing that they would need to be on their way first thing Sunday morning to be back in time for Edward and Bella's wedding that evening.

As Jacob stepped out to speak to one of his friends that lived in Vegas, Edward and Jasper walked into Emmett's room with him. He was tucking in his shirt, getting ready for a night out on the town with the boys while talking to Rosalie on the phone about the scenery around "Napa Valley". When he quickly said "I love you" only to be cut off with a dial tone he threw the phone on the bed and Edward and Jasper snickered at him.

"What?" Emmett said defensively.

"Dude, I swear she'd complain if Jesus Christ himself came down and gave her a 5 dollar bill." Jasper said, his southern accent thick.

"Yeah, dude. How can you put up with her?" Edward asked.

"Aww come one, guys. She's not that bad." Emmett said.

"Dude, you are SERIOUSLY going to say that after she fucked that waiter in Italy?" Jasper said.

"It wasn't a waiter, it was the bell hop and we have moved past that. In fact…" he said reaching in his bag "I was planning on giving her this at your wedding, Eddie. If that's ok"

Inside the little box was a beautiful yet antique engagement ring that once belonged to Emmett's grandmother.

"Dude, is this your grandma's ring?" Edward asked and Emmett nodded. "Congratulations, man."

"Dude! You are making a HUGE mistake marrying that bitch." Jasper said.

"You just can't be happy for anyone can you?" Emmett said.

"No, marriage SUCKS and it's even worse when you are married to someone like THAT." Jasper said.

"Now wait, dude. I thought you and my sister were happy together" Edward said.

"No, we are…dude, that's not my point…you see how Rosalie is now, she's a total BITCH! Imagine what it's going to be like AFTER you can't escape without lawyers or a costly divorce." Jasper replied and Edward agreed.

Just then they heard the door to the room close and Jacob entered carrying a bag with a bottle of Tequila. "Shall we hit the roof?" he asked and everyone agreed, following him up to the roof. They had to wedge the door open since it locked from the inside when the door shut. Jacob poured everyone a shot and they took a shot to their night on the town. Little did they know that tonight was going to be a night to remember…or forget.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Hangover: Twilight Edition**

**Author's Note: I am so sorry this has taken so long to write but life has been hectic. I am off of work for an entire week for an accidental vacation so I should have quite a few chapters up. I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything I am just playing with it all.**

**Chapter 2**

When the guys woke up the next morning they had a splitting headache and they didn't really know how their hotel room had gotten completely trashed. They also didn't know what happened the night before. Emmett was the first to wake up, groaning as he did so and rubbed a hand over his face and eyes to wipe away the dried up drool that had collected during the night. First, he noticed that he was asleep in the middle of the floor in the living room area of the suite. He winced when he rubbed his hand over the left side of his face. "What the hell?" Emmett thought. He stumbled over to where Jasper was sprawled out on the floor in the living room area and kicked him awake.

"What?" Jasper said startled awake. Jasper rubbed his eyes and looked around the trashed hotel room. "Dude, what the hell happened?"

"I don't know. I don't remember anything other than the roof." Emmett groaned.

"Ugh!" Jasper groaned "That's all I fucking remember. This room is TRASHED, dude."

"I know! I know! Rosie's gonna kill me when she sees I maxed out the card to pay for this shit." Emmett said "I just wish I knew what the fuck happened last night in here."

"Hey guys." Jacob said entering the room "What the hell happened last night?"

"We were sitting here wondering the same thing." Jasper said stretching a bit.

"Ah well, let's go get Edward and head down to breakfast and try to figure out how the hell we are going to fix this damn hotel room back the way we found it." Emmett said.

"OK, I'll go check his room." Jacob said.

"I've got to take a leak." Jasper said heading toward the bathroom. As soon as Jasper opened the door there was a loud growl followed by the barking and snarling of a HUGE bullmastiff. Jasper immediately rushed out of the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

"What the hell was that?" he asked and Emmett looked over at him and shrugged.

"I dunno, it sounds like a dog to me dude." Emmett replied.

"That's a HUGE fucking dog. He's a BEAST!" Jasper said. "Who's fucking dog is it?"

"Damn if I know. I can't even remember what happened last night, how should I know who's dog that is?" Emmett asked and just then Jacob appeared out of Edward's room with a worried look on his face.

"Dudes, Edward's not in there." Jacob said "Holy shit, Emmett! You've got a huge fucking scorpion tattooed on your face."

"What?" Emmett yelled. Jasper looked over at Emmett, noticing the tattoo for the first time since waking up.

"Yeah, that things covers then entire left side of your face." Jasper said and Emmett rushed frantically around the room looking for a mirror. When he finally found one he yelled.

"Holy SHIT!" Emmett yelled rubbing his left hand over the side of his face. That's when he noticed a thin gold band sitting on his finger. "Oh no! No No No NO!"

"Dude, it's cool! You can get it removed at the parlor down the street." Jasper said.

"NO! You fucking idiot…not the tat! I can handle the tat!" Emmett spat "What's THIS?" he said pointing to the ring on his hand.

"Looks like a wedding ring to me, man. Who's the lucky lady?" Jacob said.

"If I knew that I wouldn't be freaking out now would I?" Emmett replied.

"Well let's go down and we will figure all of this out, Eddie is probably down there waiting for us anyway." Jasper said and they headed to the closet for their coats and upon opening the door there stood a baby. The baby looked up at the three men and started squalling. Jasper and Emmett looked at each other and then at the baby, panic etched all over their faces.

"Who's baby is that?" Jacob finally said breaking the silence and both Jasper and Emmett shrugged. "Oh Well, I'll get the baby. Let's go find Edward."

Jacob picked up the baby, along with the strap-on carrier and they all three headed to the elevator. They walked downstairs and down to the grill, Edward was not there. They started to formulate a plan to find him and hopefully find out what happened the night before.

"So, what do you guys remember?" Jasper said pulling out a pen and a napkin.

"Caesar's Palace." Jacob said.

"Yeah, Yeah and then the Mirage." Emmett said.

"I guess that's where we met the mystery wife of yours." Jasper said. He wrote everything down and then finally said "OK yeah, this is all bogus because I don't remember a fucking thing that happened after the roof when we took those shots you gave us Jacob."

"Me either." Emmett and Jacob said.

"OK, Emmett call your credit card and have them fax the hotel any transactions done last night. Maybe that will give us a lead." Jasper said and Emmett got on it. A few minutes later Emmett gets the fax from the front desk and heads back to the table.

"OK, it's got a swipe from here and at Caesar's Palace. Then a place called Coyote Ugly inside New York-New York, the last swipe was at Graceland Chapel. My god! I am so FUCKED if Rosalie sees this before I get home." Emmett says.

"OK, OK! Just Chill, dude." Jasper said "They are leads as to where to find Edward and how to find out what the FUCK happened last night. OK, now we need to find out who's baby that is and who's fucking DOG that is." Jasper added waving his hands erratically and pointing to the baby strapped to Jacob's chest.

"Dude, Dude. Look at your wrist, is that a hospital bracelet?" Emmett said motioning to Jasper's arm. Jasper chuckled.

"Must have been a hell of a night for you to be married, with a tat on your face, a baby in our coat closet and a huge fucking beast dog in our bathroom and Edward is still missing." Jasper said.

"Well let's check out the hospital lead first. Then we will go from there." Emmett said and they all agreed before heading to the front to get the valet to bring their rental car around. When the valet pulled back up they were in a Los Vegas Police SUV.

"That's not our car." Emmett said to the valet.

"This is the one you brought back to the hotel, officers." the valet replied handing Jasper the keys. Jasper glanced at Emmett and Jacob before shrugging and getting in to driver's seat of the car. They drove across town to Las Vegas General Hospital and parked out front. They walked to the back and asked to see the doctor written on the bracelet. A young looking doctor walked out of the back and greeted them.

"Ah, Mr. Whitlock. I see you're head healed nicely overnight." the doctor said.

"Yes, sir." Jasper said "Um, what exactly was I in here for last night?"

"You don't remember?" the doctor asked and Jasper shook his head. "You were in a bar fight over at Coyote Ugly, got hit pretty hard. You were treated for a concussion and some cuts on your head."

"Honestly doctor, we don't remember much about last night. Do you know if we had another guy with us when we came? Kind of tall with unruly bronze hair and a crooked smile?" Jasper asked.

"No, it was just the three of you. It was about 5 am when you came in." the doctor said "But I think I may know why you guys don't remember anything. The tox screening we gave you when you arrived was positive for rufalin."

"I'm sorry, doctor." Emmett piped up. "But what is rufalin?"

"It's a date rape drug, normally called a "Roofie". I'm not sure how you boys came in contact with it but it seems you all three were dosed." the doctor said.

"Thank you, doctor." Jasper said and they started to walk off and heard the doctor chuckle to himself and say "tourists" to himself. Next they went to Coyote Ugly and talked to the bouncer there.

"Well HELLO!" the bouncer said fist pounding the boys "How are out high rollers doing today?"

"High rollers?" Emmett asked.

"Oh yeah! You guys showered our girls all night last night, and YOU Mr. McCarty…you walked away with someone everybody in the bar was trying to talk to." he said.

"I did?" Emmett said.

"Oh yeah, you two talked about going to Graceland Chapel…shocked the shit out of a lot of people since you just met and she's kind of a big name and all." the bouncer said.

"Big name?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah…an actress…can't remember her name right off the top because we have a lot of celebs coming in and out all the time. Um she was a hot little number…Anna something." the bouncer said.

"I guess we will check there next." Jasper said "Do you remember another guy coming in with us?"

"Oh yeah, Mr. Cullen right? Yeah, I remember him. He was pretty blitzed by the time you guys left. Kept going on and on about getting married Sunday, said it was his bachelor party." the bouncer said "He left with you guys to go to Graceland."

"One more thing, did that actress have a baby?" Jacob asked.

"She said her sister was in town and she was watching her sister's child after she left here so I guess so, yeah." the bouncer said.

"Thanks man." Jasper said and the bouncer fist pounded them one more time before they headed toward the Graceland Chapel. When they entered the Graceland Chapel, the owner greeted them the same way the bouncer over at Coyote Ugly did. They were on a roll and were about to find out JUST who Emmett had married.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Hangover: Twilight Edition**

**Author's Note: I'm sorry it's taken so long to update but I put a couple of chapters up to my new story "Trapped in the Closet" based on the R Kelly hip hop opera. I was just doing that one the same way I am doing this one…just for fun. Check it out if you would like but be warned there IS some slash in that one.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own the characters though I wish either Emmett or Carlisle owned me ****J The concept is also from the movie the Hangover. ENJOY!**

**Chapter 3**

When the guys walked into Graceland Chapel the owner came from around the counter and dropped to his knees in front of Emmett praising him, causing the other two to laugh out hysterically.

"You Mr. McCarty, are a god in my book my friend" the Indian guy said, his accent thick.

"What happened here last night?" Emmett asked.

"Do you not remember marrying Miss McCord?" he asked and Emmett shook his head. "It's a good thing I kept a few pictures that Miss McCord…or should I say McCarty now…signed."

"McCord, Em dude why does that shit sound familiar?" Jasper whispered to Emmett and Emmett shrugged.

"She should sound familiar, she's quite famous." the owner said pulling out the pictures to show us. The guys looked at the pictures and immediately their mouths dropped. Of course Emmett, being the slow one he is didn't know who she was.

"Um…call me a ditz but um, who is she?" he asked Jasper.

"Are you SERIOUS man?" Jasper said in shock. "That's Annalynne McCord!"

"Um ok…sounds familiar. What do I know her from?" Emmett asked.

"Dude, you know…the one from that zombie movie Day of the Dead? The one that played Nina." Jasper said and Emmett still looked confused.

"DUDE!" Jacob said "Kellan Lutz's ex!"

"OH!" he said, it finally clicking "Why didn't you say that to begin with? I love Kellan's movies. Especially the Twilight movies."

"Dude, that's only because in the Twilight movies he has your name! Seriously!" Jasper said.

"Oh yeah." Emmett said "WOW! I married HER?"

"Yeah, dude." Jasper said "We need to go find her, man. Now you have a reason to leave that little bitch Rosalie alone. Annalynne is freaking HOT!"

"Now I don't know about all that but YEAH, she's freaking hot!" Emmett said "She DEFINITELY gives Rosie a run for her money."

"So, do you know if we had another guy with us?" Jasper asked the owner.

"Yeah, Mr. Cullen. He kept going on and on about how he and his fiancee should come to this chapel instead of the big fancy wedding his sister planned for Sunday. He left with you guys." the owner said. "OH! Here's your wife's hotel and room number."

"Thank you" Emmett said taking the slip of paper from the owner's extended hand.

"Come back to see us again with that beautiful wife of yours Mr. McCarty and congratulations again." the owner said before the boys left. They went to the hotel listed on the slip of paper and went to the front desk.

"Welcome to the Belagio, may I help you?" the receptionist asked.

"Yes, I'd like to see my um wife, Annalynne McCord please. Room 231." Emmett said.

"Ah yes, Mr. McCarty. She just arrived again this morning, she said she just left your hotel. She said you left before she could see you again. She also told me if you came by to send you up." the receptionist said. "The elevators right over there, congratulations. I was sure she was going to marry Kellan."

"So did we." Jasper mumbled and Emmett elbowed him as they headed toward the elevator and up to room 231. They knocked on the door and a very BEAUTIFUL Annalynne McCord answered the door, phone in her ear.

"Stacey, I'm going to have to let you go. Yes she's here, she was with her uncle." she said to the person on the phone "I love you too." She hung up the phone and turned to us. "Well hello, hubby." she said pulling Emmett in for a kiss.

"Um Hello." Emmett said.

"Aww come on in, baby. Your friends too." Annalynne said. They followed her inside and sat on the couch in the center of her suite. "So, I know last night was crazy and I don't really do this sort of thing."

"Neither do I." Emmett said. "I'm not trying to sound mean but I don't really remember last night."

"Aww baby, it's ok. You and your three friends were really wasted but I don't regret it." she said kissing him again. "Speaking of, where is Edward?"

"We don't know." Jasper said.

"Poor thing, I think he was drunker than any of you. He talked nonstop about some girl Bella." Annalynne said with a sexy giggle.

"Yeah, that's his fiancee. We really need to find him because we have to leave tomorrow for his wedding." Jasper said.

"I'm sure he'll turn up." Annalynne said "Aww Emmy, baby. You're leaving me so soon after giving me a night I'll never forget?"

"Did we…" Emmett trailed off blushing and Annalynne giggled again.

"Of COURSE we did, silly. We ARE married after all." she said and Emmett blushed even deeper. "Don't worry it'll be better next time because I won't LET you forget."

"Um Annalynne, about last night." Emmett said and Jacob and Jasper stood up and stepped outside while they talked.

"Don't sweat it, Emmy." Annalynne said "This type of thing happens all the time. We can get an annulment if you would like."

"I'm sorry Annalynne. You are a beautiful girl but…" Emmett trailed off again looking down.

"It's ok, baby." Annalynne said putting a finger over his lips. "Of COURSE we could always STAY married and you know…date?"

"Really?" Emmett said as his shot up. He thought about it for a minute, he had this Hottie sitting in front of him and Rosalie sitting at home that made his life a living hell but he loved her. What was he going to do?

"Yes, I feel kind of like I've known you forever Emmett McCarty." she said with a smile. "But that's up to you. I mean we can talk about this when I get back to Seattle if you would like."

"Wait, you live in Seattle?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?" she said arching an eyebrow.

"I live in Forks." he said with a smile, his dimple showing.

"I love seeing you smile Emmett McCarty. Those dimples are so ADORABLE!" she said kissing him again. This time he didn't feel the urge to resist, instead he felt the urge to push it further. No, he couldn't do that because he still had loose ends to tie up back home.

After sitting and talking with Annalynne for a while he finally decided what he was going to do when he got home. He agreed that he and Annalynne would not get an annulment until after they tried at their marriage for a while. They agreed that if they agreed before the 6 month time frame was over, they would get an annulment.

"I'm glad you agreed not to get an annulment, I think we are going to be great together, baby." Annalynne said kissing me softly on the lips. "I have to do some filming this week to finish up but then I am done for now. I am coming home next weekend."

"Well what are you doing tomorrow around 8?" Emmett asked.

"Nothing that I know of, why?" she asked.

"Would you like to accompany me to Edward and Bella's wedding?" he asked.

"I'd have to take the red eye back first thing Monday morning, but sure." she said kissing him again.

"Thank you. I have to warn you though, I have some loose ends I need to tend to back in Forks, and she may not take it well. But just know that I want to try with you. I don't want her anymore. My friends and even my family have been trying to get me to leave her for a while, she's quite abusive verbally…and sometimes physically." Emmett admitted blushing when he did.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll be there for you when you let her down." she said.

"Well we have to go find Eddie. I'll call you tonight?" Emmett said and she smiled.

"Screw calling, honey. Just come on back to the room with me. I mean, we are married now so why not?" she said.

"Um ok." he said blushing once again.

"I hope you find your friend." she said with a smile and kissed him lightly on the lips once more "I'll see you soon, lover."

"See you soon, babe." he said with a smile, his dimple gleaming yet again. He walked out into the hall where Jasper and Jacob were waiting and they shot him a look that said "Well?".

"We're not going to get an annulment, we're going to try it out first." he said.

"Congrats man!" Jasper said.

"Yeah, but what about Rosalie?" Jacob asked.

"I'm dumping her when I get home, Annalynne's flying back with us. I'm coming back to her room tonight." Emmett said and the boys fist pounded him for landing such a hottie as a wife. "Hey, it could have been so much worse than a hot movie store…it could have been a stripper who breast fed her baby in front of us and tricked herself out on the side."

"Dude, that sounds like what happened to Ed Helms in The Hangover when he married Heather Graham when he was plastered." Jasper said.

"Yeah! I know right…déjà vu." Emmett said with a laugh.

"Hey Heather Graham is hot." Jacob said.

"Agreed." Jasper and Emmett said in unison and then shot a look at each other before laughing hysterically.

"Well let's go back to the hotel and see if we can find Edward." Jasper said.

"OK Let's go." Emmett agreed. They walked out of the front door of the hotel and there stood two police officers with their guns drawn.

"FREEZE" they yelled and the boys put their hands up. Oh shit! What was next?


	5. Chapter 5

**The Hangover: Twilight Edition**

**Author's Note: I'm sorry it's taken so long to update but things have been hectic around here lately and I have to admit I have been totally addicted to True Blood. Which has the wheels turning about possibly doing a Twilight/True Blood Crossover….I'll let you guys poll on it on my profile and let me know what you think. Not sure of a plot just that I'd either get the folks from Bon Temps in Forks or vice versa…not sure yet but it could be fun! Anyway…back to this story.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight that honor is still bestowed upon Stephanie Meyer but if I had MY way I'd definitely have my way with a few wolves (Paul and Jared) and vamps (Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper). I also don't own the concept…that's from the writer and director of The Hangover. This story is not meant to either upset or offend anyone it is for entertainment purposes only. Without further ado….On with the show!**

**Chapter 4**

The boys were thrown in the back of the police car they had stolen without any recollection the night before and all three hauled off to the Las Vegas Police Department.

While sitting in the waiting area a group of school aged children came into the building and stopped right in front of the three guys.

"Children, this is why you should behave. You wouldn't want to end up like these three would you?" the teacher said to the class.

"No ma'am" they all said in unison.

One boy stopped right in front of Jacob and kind of stared him down for a minute before finally saying "You're going to rot in jail old man."

"What did you say to me boy?" Jacob replied and the boy spit in his face before walking away to join the rest of his class. After sitting there for a while, Jasper made a phone call to Bella to fill her in on everything…in not so many words.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hey Bella. How are things your way?" Jasper asked in a friendly manner.

"Fine…Where's Edward?" she asked.

"Oh he's in one of the rooms getting changed. He left his phone at the hotel room. Do you want me to tell him to call you?" Jasper asked.

"Please. What have you guys been up to?" she asked.

"Oh you know, the usual. We hit the strip last night and now we are about to enjoy a nice massage so that we can come back tomorrow nice and relaxed for the wedding." Jasper replied.

"Tomorrow? I thought you were coming back tonight." Bella said.

"Well by the time we're done here it is going to be late so we figured we'd take the red eye back tomorrow morning and be there in enough time for the wedding." Jasper said.

"You better not be late Jasper or it's your ass." Bella said.

"We wouldn't dream of it Bella." Jasper drawled.

"Whitlock, McCarty, Black!" the officer yelled in the background.

"Well Bella, we have to go they are calling for us." Jasper said and he hung up as they walked uncomfortably into the interrogation room. The two cops that picked them up were sitting in the room both looking very pissed off.

"Do you mind telling me how the FUCK you got our car?" the male officer asked straight out.

"Honestly, officer we don't remember much about last night. It seems that someone slipped us roofies in our drinks and the night was a blur." Emmett said.

"That's all well and good but how do you plan to pay for the damages done to our car?" the female officer asked.

"Well, we unfortunately don't have any money and we'd spend the night in jail but we have to get back for a wedding. Is there anything else we can do to make up for taking your car?" Jasper asked. Just then another copped walked in and said "Officer's the school children are here for the demonstration." he said.

"Thank you officer." the male officer said before looking at his partner. An evil grin spread across both of their faces. The boys feared the worst. A few minutes later they were being hauled into a classroom and the handcuffs were taken off. In the room sat a class full of school aged children awaiting a demonstration on the abilities of a taser.

"This children is a police issued taser. In the wrong hands anything is possible and you must be careful or someone could get hurt and it could accidentally electrocute you." the male officer said before shooting the taser backwards hitting Jasper in the stomach. Jasper screamed out in pain before dropping to the ground twitching a few times before finally stopping to hold his stinging stomach. The officer pulled the barbs out of his skin making him wince again before addressing the class again.

"Now who would like to try to shoot the taser?" the officer asked motioning for Emmett to step forward. The officer picked a little girl from the group and put the taser in her hands. "OK, sweetheart. Just aim it at anywhere on the body and press this button right here." he told her pointing to the trigger. The little girl aimed up at shot Emmett right in the groin causing him to scream out and drop to the floor. The officer removed the prongs and asked for another volunteer motioning for Jacob to step forward. Just as Jacob's luck would have it…the boy who spit on him earlier was chosen. He took the taser and without a second thought he shot Jacob right between the eyes. Jacob winced before dropping to the ground shaking wildly. The officer's laughed hysterically before dismissing the class and walking the boys back out into the lobby and taking the cuffs off.

"I'd say you've paid your dues, boys. You are free to go." the officer said.

"Thank you, I guess. Um did you happen to find our rental car, by any chance?" Jasper asked.

"Why yes we did, parked right in the middle of Las Vegas Boulevard." the female officer said "It's sitting at impound now, you are free to go get it."

"Thank you officers." Jasper said and with that they left to head to the police impound lot. While waiting for the car, the boys talked.

"I hope we find Edward soon." Jacob said.

"I'm starting to think he's lying dead somewhere in a ditch." Emmett said coming back from getting a drink from the nearby drink machine.

"DUDE! Not helping, can't you see the man's hurting?" Jasper said.

"Sorry, but we have to face facts here…he's gone and there's a slim to none chance of finding him." Emmett said.

"We have to keep looking." Jasper said just as the car drove up unscathed. The boys all piled into the car and headed back toward the hotel. On the way they heard banging from the trunk.

"Do you guys here that?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah, what is that?" Emmett asked.

"It's coming from the trunk." Jacob said.

"EDWARD!" they all yelled in perfect unison before Jasper pulled the car over and took off to the back of the car to unlock the trunk. When they opened the trunk a midget (or to be politically correct "little person") jumped out of the trunk butt naked and landed directly on Jasper beating the crap out of him with a tire iron before jumping off and taking off in the opposite direction of the boys but not before hitting the other two a few times with the tire iron. After the midget was gone the three boys sat broken and bruised on the ground wondering "What the Fuck.". Emmett was the first to speak.

"Who the HELL was THAT? And why were they in the trunk of our rental car?" Emmett said.

"How the hell should I know? I learned that we stole a cop car, you married a movie star and got a face tattoo, we stole a huge freaking BEAST dog and then we lost Edward…who was that? Fuck if I know!" Jasper said wiping the blood from his head and lip from the beating he just took.

"Guys, I have a confession to make." Jacob finally said and the guys looked at him. "You know when we had those drinks we had on the roof before we went out? Well I um I kind of put something in them."

"You WHAT?" Emmett said jumping to his feet.

"I was told it was Exstacy, I knew you guys wouldn't take it on your own so I put it in our drinks. I didn't know it was a roofie. I just wanted us to have a good time." Jacob said.

"Why the FUCK would you slip ANYTHING in our drinks?" Emmett said getting mad.

"Where did you get Ex from man?" Jasper asked.

"From the guy at the liquor store, he said it was some high grade shit." Jacob said.

"You took advice from a liquor store DRUG DEALER you fucking IDIOT! In case you haven't noticed JACOB…Edward is MISSING, I am MARRIED to someone OTHER than ROSALIE, Jasper just got the SHIT beat out of him…What the fuck?" Emmett screamed before punching Jacob square in the jaw before getting in the car. When he opened the car door he hit Jacob again in the head. After seeing what happened he helped him up and they headed back to the hotel to find out what else happened the night before.


	6. Chapter 6

**The Hangover Twilight Edition**

**Author's Note: I'm sorry it has taken so long but I have another story going as well as this one for my new series called the Teenage Wasteland Series which is basically every cast member and OC Characters for a friend of mine. I am also working on trying to do a True Blood/Twilight Crossover. The movie wasn't a long movie so this is probably not going to last much longer anyway but let's just go with the flow for now. I am adding tonight because I just got done watching a movie with Ed Helms in it, he's freaking HILARIOUS.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the Hangover, I am just playing with them. This is for entertainment purposes only and not intended to either upset or offend anyone.**

**Chapter 5-**

When the boys got back to the hotel room they walked into the sounds of classical music being played on the piano in the suite. They immediately thought it was Edward, since he played the piano but when they got closer they were surprised to see UFC fighter Chuck Liddell playing. All three boys stopped dead in their tracks.

"Ah, there you guys are. We've been waiting for you." he said once he stopped playing. The boys looked beside Chuck to see the midget that jumped out of the trunk and beat the crap out of Jasper. "I assume you've met my associate Big Man." he said and Jacob stifled a chuckle at the man's name.

"It seems that you three owe us both something." Chuck said standing up and walking toward the three boys. He walked straight to Jacob and hit him hard with a right hook to the jaw sending him straight to the floor. "Now that THAT'S out of the way, we can get down to business. You three, and your friend wherever he is, stole my dog from my house last night."

"Mr. Liddell, first of all let me say I am a huge fan." Jasper said "We didn't know that it was your dog, as a matter of fact, we didn't know that we even stole it until we woke up this morning and found it locked in the bathroom."

"How could you not know you stole it?" Chuck asked.

"Well you see, Mr. Liddell, we were EXTREMELY drunk last night and it turns out we were also roofied." Emmett said "We really don't remember anything that happened last night."

"AH! I see, well I'm leaving it up to YOU three to get my dog back to my house and in his cage." Chuck said and the boys stiffened.

"How are we going to do that?" Jasper asked.

"Figure it out!" Chuck said "Now Big Man has something to say and I suggest you all listen VERY carefully."

"First of all" the little guy said before coming over and head butting Jasper in the groin, sending him to the floor. "That was for locking me in the trunk. And you all owe me $800 that you guys stole from me at the casino last night! I expect payment by sunset in the valley if you ever want to see your friend Edward alive again."

"You have Edward? You BASTARD!" Jasper screamed from the floor.

"Yes, I do and you will get him back when you get me my money." Big Man said.

"We don't have that kind of money" Emmett said.

"Like Chuck said…Figure it out!" Big Man said and at that both he and Chuck left the boys utterly confused and worried at the same time.

"What the FUCK are we going to do now?" Emmett said.

"Well for one we have to find a way to drug the dog and get it back to Chuck's house." Jasper said.

"And get that man his money." Jacob added.

"Thank you Captain OBVIOUS!" Emmett said.

"Well let's focus on getting the dog back first, Jacob do you have anymore of those pills?" Jasper asked.

"I have 2 left." he said getting a bottle out of his room. The boys ordered a raw steak from room service and stuck the two rufalin in the steak. Emmett was volunteered by the other two to go take the steak in to the dog. He was scared shitless as he walked into the little bathroom and the huge monster dog stood up and started growling and snarling at him.

"Good Doggy. Good Doggy!" he said trying to whistle. He threw the steak down and took off like a bat out of hell into the other room, slamming the door behind him.

The boys waited until the heard the thud of the dog falling over asleep and they snuck the dog out covered in a blanket on a luggage cart out to the rental car. On the drive over they planned how they were going to get the other guy's money back and it was decided that Jasper would go into the casino with Jacob as his body guard/ entourage and then Emmett called his new wife and they were to join the table later and win a couple of hands as well. Jacob taught everyone how to count cards so it was basically a sure thing.

The boys were almost to Chuck's house, all three sitting in the front so the dog could stretch out in the back, and they were talking about their plans for after they dropped the dog off. They didn't hear the dog wake up until the dog let out a menacing growl. All the guys screamed and Jasper started driving erratically before they finally pulled onto the curb and pushed the car the rest of the way to Chuck's house.

When they got to Chuck's they walked the dog inside and hightailed it back to the casino where they put their plan into action, wracking up $1000 amongst the three of them that were playing. Right before the guys at the casino caught on Annalynne tipped her chair over backwards and pretended to be drunk while Jasper and Jacob got away. The guards were too busy helping Annalynne and Emmett that they didn't even notice them slipping by. After they were out of sight of the guards Annalynne kissed Emmett and said she felt better and the two left themselves.

The boys met Big Man in the Valley with their winnings and flashed their lights to signal they were there.

"You have my money?" Big Man said.

"You have out friend?" Jasper said.

"Toss me the money and I will give you your friend." Big Man replied.

"Show us Edward and we will toss the money." Jasper snapped.

"Bring out the hostage." Big Man yelled to his driver and the driver brought out a hooded figure and the boys let out a sigh of relief before Jasper tossed the bag containing the money to Big Man. They removed the hood and it wasn't Edward.

"This isn't our friend." Emmett said.

"Well too bad, see you later mother fuckers." Big Man said flipping them off and getting into his car and speeding off.

"What the fuck? Why did that fucker kidnap me?" the guy said.

"I don't know. I don't remember shit from last night." Emmett said sitting on the hood of the rental car.

"I'm going to call Bella." Jasper said walking off and calling Bella.

"Man, you sold me a batch of rufalin." Jacob said.

"Rufalin? Man, what's rufalin?" the guy said, who Emmett now knew was the drug dealer that Jacob mentioned earlier.

"Roofies you fucking idiot." Emmett spat.

"No I didn't." the guy replied.

"Yes you did, the doctor at the hospital said our friend was dosed with roofies." Jacob said.

"Ah shit man, I must have mixed the bags up. My bad." the guy said "Shit, I don't even know why they call them roofies man. You are more likely to end up on the floor than the roof, they should just call them Floories."

"Yeah." Jacob agreed.

"Wait, Wait, what did you say?" Emmett said.

"They should call them Floories." the guy said.

"No, before that!" Emmett said.

"Oh you are more likely to end up on the floor instead of the roof." he said.

"Dude, you're a GENIUS!" Emmett said hugging the drug dealer and running to stop Jasper from telling Bella anything "JASPER NO!"

Emmett tackled Jasper and wrestled with him for a minute before taking the phone from him.

"Bella." Emmett said.

"Oh thank god! Emmett, what's going on?" Bella said.

"Nothing just a misunderstanding we are going to get Edward now and we're getting on the first red eye home." Emmett replied before telling her bye and running to the car. All four men piled in and sped all the way back to the hotel, with the drug dealer going his own way. They ran upstairs to the roof, propping it open and to the other side where Edward was sitting, sun burned and weak, in a bath robe.

"What happened?" Edward groaned.

"We still don't know, we were all drugged. I'm so GLAD we found you. We've got to get out of here." Jasper said and he and Emmett helped Edward up and back to the room to get dressed.

"It's the funniest thing guys, I was sitting up there on the roof and I found these in the pocket of my robe." Edward said pulling out at least $3000 worth of casino chips. They boys all laughed before packing their stuff up, cashing in the chips and calling Annalynne to meet them at the hotel entrance. Annalynne hopped in the car, ready to leave Vegas, and they all got on the Red Eye back to Seattle. Emmett kissed Annalynne goodbye and headed to end things with Rosalie, Jasper went home to Alice and their children, and Edward and Jacob went to get ready for the wedding.

Emmett had trouble ending things with Rosalie so when Annalynne showed up at the wedding Rosalie raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Um, Emmett…who is this?" Rosalie said.

"Oh yeah, Rose, I was trying to tell you earlier. I think we should see other people." Emmett replied.

"And why do you think that?" Rosalie asked.

"Because you have been a total bitch since you fucked that bell hop on your trip to Europe last year and by the way, this is Annalynne McCarty…my WIFE." he said kissing Annalynne before they walked away in each other's arms leaving Rosalie standing there speechless. They joined the rest of the group and danced and partied for a while.

After the reception Edward walked up to the rest of the guys with a shit eating grin on his face.

"Look what I found!" he said holding up a digital camera.

"Is that what I think it is?" Jasper said.

"The very same…should we look at it?" Edward asked and everyone shook their head.

"Never we will NEVER talk of that night again." Jasper said.

"Well let's just look at it once and then delete them all." Emmett said with a laugh and they all agreed and almost died at the many embarrassing pictures from the night they will never remember, and laughed so hard they were crying before Edward finally hit the delete button, removing it all from the camera.

THE END


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